Now You Know. Latest Love. Customize Select the topics that interest you:. Love and Sex. Pop Culture. Healthy Living. Book Swipe Shop. It's not that you should worry about what your friends think of you, but sleeping with one of your friends will undoubtedly change the way people in your friend group interact. It's possible that not all of your friends will be comfortable with your arrangement — even if you try to minimize flirting with each other in public. Finally, it's really important to consider if this person is someone you're willing to end your friendship with.
If you're casual acquaintances, it's possible that becoming friends with benefits could maybe, MAYBE work out. But if you're old friends with a lot of history? That kind of friendship probably isn't worth risking for a few nights of fun. Even if you start off on the same page, things change. Someone will eventually call it off. You'll see them flirting with other people. It will change the dynamic in your friend group.
It can build resentment that will affect your friendship. Is it acceptable practice to cancel a FWB hookup in favor of a real date that night instead, or will this cause problems? Perhaps most importantly, what happens if one friend starts catching feelings for the other? How should one address it? When the lines start blurring, things can get messy, and your fun, friendly hookup becomes just another source of drama.
To avoid confusion, awkwardness and disappointments, here are some things to keep in mind. Of course, every situationship is different, but these are some hard and fast rules you might want to pay attention to before getting in too deep with a friend. You need to make sure that you two are open about everything, as both of you need to be on the same page in case either of you start developing feelings for the other.
Same thing goes if one person wants to end it. You both have to be okay with the end result, so an lines of trust and honest communication are key. Do you really want to risk changing the dynamic of a friend group by sleeping with your pal on the off chance that it does not work out?
And other times sleeping with your buddy totally works out. Everyone operates differently and all friend groups have a different dynamic. Just make sure that you are considering all the factors when deciding to become a FWB with someone. If you are in a friends with benefits situation, do not act like a couple! This might be the golden rule of successful FWB relationships.
So try to avoid this situation all together. With Relish you can text with a qualified relationship coach for one-to-one advice, take therapist-approved quizzes about communication, conflict, intimacy and more.
Try our award winning relationship coaching app free for one week! Along the same lines as the last piece of advice, you and your FWB should avoid having sleepovers. Cuddles and spooning fall squarely into activities for couples and should be avoided if you want your FWB relationship to work. As does pillow talk, which can often get very intimate. As nice as it is so wake up next to someone in the morning and potentially have morning sex! This is not to say that you need to kick your friend to the curb as soon as you finish having sex, but you should be weary of sleepovers, as they might add complications to your casual relationship.
FWB relationships are not typically exclusive, which means that you and your friend are probably seeing a couple different people.
When you first begin a friends with benefits relationship, you and your new boo should talk about whether or not you plan to sleep with other people when you talk about your boundaries more on this to come. During this discussion, you should talk about how you plan to practice safe sex with each other and other people. Being in a FWB relationship requires a lot of potentially awkward or blunt conversations cough cough ,why we mentioned that bit on emotional maturity.
You and your FWB should talk about the expectations for your relationship at the outset. We understand that not everyone is into scheduling, but it can be helpful to talk about what your FWB relationship will look like from the outset.
Do you want a standing hookup on Wednesday nights? Or do you want things to be more spontaneous? Are you down with flirty texting? Or is that crossing a line? Do you expect to be in this for the foreseeable future? Or are you moving across the country in two months? Talking all of these things through at the beginning will help make sure that you and your friend are on the same page. Keeping your expectations low yes, even lower than the expectations you set in the beginning will prevent you from getting overly invested in your casual relationship.
Expecting the bare minimum will also help you avoid falling into the trap of catching feelings.
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